I was not asking

for an easy ride,

like you I know

the road to Calvary

is paved with brine:

Now there’s sea salt

in my hair, my lungs

a spider’s web of

‘left behind’

they rattle like a vintage tram,

all slickness burnt away.

I broke the day

you turned aside;

pursued the distant summit

I can’t climb, turned just once

& winked that eye,

or was it shadow in the light?

The sun went in & darkness

filled the land,

you left us blind.

I was not hoping for

a helping hand;

though many have tried

the years fly by in

supersonic mode,

& turbulence has

taken toll

all futures set aside

for this soul road.

I will not promise

not to cry

my tears run through

a crack in memory

create a peaceful pool

where I can bathe secure,

this life, a stepping stone

to freedom.

You paint the

empty corners

where sunlight

spikes the shadows.

Who am I

to understand

your truth?

You nightly

stroll through

dream,

my child:

at least once

you were

now grown

in beauty.

We talk

in whispers,

eons

separate & rent

our structure.

You hide:

an enigma

to me.

Your cells

still circulate

my blood,

& yet

like mountain

peaks we gaze

but never broach

the distance.

Your face is in my head:

I hadn’t thought of you

in years, but now I see

a mirage of your life;

a rainbow on a waterfall

the sunshine & the rain

those demons that I fought

both real & imagined.

So bright, so handsome so alive

but now you face the fire

dust to dust, molecules of light

float through space & time

to visit in my dreams:

I didn’t know

I didn’t know

the life that I let go

would return like this

to haunt me.

Your face is in my head

an image clear & true

dark eyes dark curls

your voice soft measured words,

you were a good person

who touched the core of life

your talent ran so deep

the caverns cannot hold it.

Who am I to write these words?

Who am I to mourn you?

I didn’t know

I didn’t know

the life that I let go

would return this day

to haunt me.